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6x6x6 – The Inner History of Satisfaction

October 27, 2010
by

“Suck it!” in chorus, the
violent cessation
of sobriety, oh
god damn!  A white foamy
substance has formed on top
of your own sperm and its

rich humus.  They think it’s
an aspiration, like
tapping a hot ass with
condescension, the squats,
real and orifice.
There is saying: A butt

plug attached to Rambo,
this is incredibly
erotic.  Imagine
that, mythological
drag queen, glistening in
close-up: the male is a

woman who is Christ with
a vibrator on the
inner history of
satisfaction. (That a
triple penetration?)
Happiness is the right

to invade and bomb, you
can make it sound like a
funnel, but only for
awhile, wet smacking sounds
of anticipation.
The vision of a

country as a huge white
cocksucker swallowing
the proletariat,
like balls are the real and
virtual forces of
capitalization.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 27, 2010 10:07 pm

    Mom?

  2. eddeaddad permalink*
    October 29, 2010 2:32 am

    “Suck it!” in chorus, the
    violent cessation
    of sobriety, oh
    god damn!

    An excellent beginning.

    A white foamy
    substance has formed on top
    of your own sperm and its

    rich humus.

    a good strong image, but doesn’t really fit with the rest of the poem, (and doesn’t clash with it in any interesting way that I can see.)

    They think it’s
    an aspiration, like
    tapping a hot ass

    good shift of register, good juxtaposition

    with
    condescension, the squats,
    real and orifice.

    doesn’t really contribute.

    There is saying: A butt

    plug attached to Rambo,
    this is incredibly
    erotic.

    awesome. I don’t think I’ll ever look at Stallone the same again. (wtf does that mean, anyways? actually, nevermind…) a strong intro to the next segment.

    Imagine
    that, mythological
    drag queen, glistening in
    close-up: the male is a

    woman who is Christ with
    a vibrator on the
    inner history of
    satisfaction. (That a
    triple penetration?)

    An amazing passage. I love the syntax of the first sentence. The second noun phrase is almost mystical, before being brought back to profanity. Numerous interesting readings, and at just the right spot: here, the heart of the poem.

    Happiness is the right

    to invade and bomb, you
    can make it sound like a
    funnel, but only for
    awhile, wet smacking sounds
    of anticipation.

    A strong beginning, the second part doesn’t really live up to it. I think “funnel” might not have been your best choice, especially with the language model you’re using.

    The vision of a

    country as a huge white
    cocksucker swallowing
    the proletariat,
    like balls are the real and
    virtual forces of
    capitalization.

    Ya know… I think these 6x6x6 poems work best when the elements from the profanity and from the contemporary culture juxtapose in open ways that enable a wide range of interesting readings that highlight previously dimly-understood truths, if only to the self. This segment almost does that. I think the lines “the real and / virtual forces of / capitalization” kind of brings it down – it’s tough for me to find good readings there. lemme tell ya a trick: if I have a weak phrase that I am unable to cut because of the method I’m using, I generally name the poem after that phrase. It makes it stronger.

    but WTF do I know anyway, the thing’s solid. offensive and fascinating. I gotta go back and re-read those old 6x6x6s.

  3. eRoGK7 permalink*
    October 29, 2010 7:46 am

    Your reading is pretty much in line with my own, although I think you may be too forgiving. This is probably the worst 6x6x6 in a while, but I never really know if one is terrible or not until I put it up and read it over for a few days.

    I really feel like this series is dead now, that I’m over it, but I will surprise myself sometimes with a new poem that seems to really work. A few more like this, though (and it was not easy to write, either), and I’ll throw in the hat on this series. I’m ready for more positive and more publishable things. I’m tired of being offensive.

  4. eddeaddad permalink*
    November 2, 2010 12:39 am

    Gnoetry/eGnoetry puts the burden of coherence (or effect through clashing coherences) on the author, so by committing yourself to 6 stanzas you commit yourself to cycling through a lot of words and phrases. So with a lot of these 6x6x6 poems, there are some killer stanzas, and some that are obviously filler, and I can see how it’d be extremely time-consuming (and psychically exhausting, given the profanity involved) to make it all killer. It must be even tougher given that you have to finish the whole poem in one sitting, since you can’t ‘reload’ existing poems.

    With epogees I can define my own authoring methods; if there’s a stanza that’s not working, there’s generally some way that I can just ditch it! Maybe you should consider going back to Mchain for a while, or using JanusNode, or using Gnoetry as a starting point, as you do with the “Same” series.

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