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Internet Dating Poems

June 16, 2012

Recently, I’ve been meeting random people on a major online dating site. Rather than talk about my successes and failures in the online dating scene, I’ve taken to cutting up people’s self-summaries and scrambling them in Infinite Monkey’s n-gram generator. Though the poems are obviously hilarious, they don’t seem funny to the people on the other side of internet who I’ve sent them to. Thus I’ve ceased this practice. However if you were wondering where Life came from, you needn’t any longer.

None the less, poems were written and I provide them here for your viewing amusement:

User #1

I travel but I’m not a pedestal

married special falling hip
before melodic knit

married make me change
your happiness to
happy that goes

young pretty much the future goes funny
while we create Marxist cliches

we can talk slightly elitist
and you’ll be back

that makes up for a little make up
and forgets someone who has been an adult

I knit better people than ten minute decisions
get ready the way we elope

User #2

achieve the girly
around am down-to-earth
really been hard
hiking some folk come
from personalities
that can connect trails

who counts my goals?
what festivals possible?

an adventure can connect home

a smart now girl who
will treat clean needy music
with the eyes of life

User #3

I’m into three boys
who like fun

all karaoke gettin’ poetry
as much about brains

only grad fun dolled
dolled her shiny wanna

method = n-grams

4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 17, 2012 12:37 am

    If it’s still an option, my vote is for User #3! (though… uh… you might have to share her with 2 other guys…)

  2. Eric Elshtain permalink
    June 17, 2012 1:51 pm

    How many of these do you have? These are awesome.

  3. June 17, 2012 3:32 pm


    that one lives too far away..


    As of this second, none, but these are too fun to stop doing. There will be more. Promise.

  4. June 18, 2012 9:19 am

    there’s plenty of poetry in that fish

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